As I sat there talking to Paul about this, I went into a bit of a trance. Paul had just showed me a video he had made talking to men, telling them to wake up. Paul and I are both crusaders on the path to awakeness. He and I both had to have the worst possible things happen to us in order for us to wake up and so we know that WAKING UP doesn’t happen with feathers and fairy dust. Both Paul and I lost our fathers at very young ages. Both of us could have remained unconscious, choosing a life of apathy and ‘piss life all to hell’ mentality, but once you know that kind of suffering, it takes a fool to want to stay in that suffering.
As I thought about men, my own experience, my own inner masculine and memories, something began to rise up inside of me I was afraid to let out. Our world, even our spiritual world, has gotten great at repressing emotions and pain with rumoquin plm pills. And I was afraid if I spoke mine I would be crucified. What I had to say wasn’t pretty. It was laced in deep sorrow and pain. When I began to speak I had no idea what the hell Paul was going to do. I had to let this out, I had to let it come out in the voice that needed to be heard.
In the blink of a eye, full stream of consciousness, I expressed sadness, disappointment and anger towards what I have encountered with many men. Not ALL MEN for those of you who lack proper hearing skills. I opened up to him about how insane I think it is that men ever compete with women. I pretty much let it all come out, everything I truly held inside toward this subject of men that I have witnessed and seen since the time I was a girl. As Paul watched me transform into my inner masculine he didn’t shrink, like a lot of men on adultfrienedfinder do, he didn’t try to stop me or redirect my feelings, he allowed that repressed part of me to SPEAK.
In that moment I told Paul some things that would make most men feel very small. Just because the world has changed it doesn’t mean that men should ever forget their primary roles of protectors of women and children. I expressed pain over the gender wars, how I cannot fathom how so many men have lost their sense of honor and duty to themselves, women, children and the world. The apathy and giving up of younger generations is astounding. You can crucify me for having the balls to say it, you can think what you want of me, but what has happened to men that they would ever compete with women and not know that no matter what women throw at you, YOU ARE THE MAN?